The Path

Growing up in church we always described Gods plan and purpose for our lives as this pathway, this road that we get to choose to take or not. And somewhere along the lines I kinda got this idea that the path consisted of this step by step guide or to do lost in order to fulfil all God had set out for me and that if I were to make the tiniest mistake or step even an inch off that everything would fall out of place. I put this massive amount of pressure on myself to achieve, stay focused and tick off all the boxes in fear of missing out of the plan. This showed up in my life in the forms of avoiding planning for future careers in fear of choosing the wrong one, avoiding the possibility of relationships and love in fear of choosing the wrong person, stepping into passions like songwriting, singing and writing in fear of it being the wrong path. In case you haven't noticed I have a little bit of a control issue when it comes to the future. Anyway, coming to the end of this year I had a bit of a decision to make about my degree for next year, whether or not to continue in my current one or choose something else. I was given exactly a month to figure it out, and I, of course, avoided it for as long as possible in fear of making the wrong choice (sensing a theme?) fast forward a week before the closing date, a friend of mine and I decided to read Proverbs, to my surprise the book is all about making wise choices. The question that was posed was, how do we seek wisdom and where to find it

Proverbs 1:7

The fear of God is the beginning of knowledge.

God is the source and when we decide to live in fear (in awe/reverence) of God we seek wisdom.

Proverbs 1:28-

“Then they will call to me but I will not answer;

they will look for me but will not find me,

29 since they hated knowledge

and did not choose to fear the Lord.

30 Since they would not accept my advice

and spurned my rebuke,

31 they will eat the fruit of their ways

and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.

God really called me out, as my friend Faith says - "God was shouting at me"

The word schemes mean: plans

Schemes would be your own will, your own plans

And if you don't accept wisdom you will see the fruit of your own plans instead of the fruit God has for you.

Proverbs 1:33

But if we chose God and wisdom we will live in safety, ease and without fear or harm. God promises this to us when we choose to live in his wisdom.

The question God asked me was " Are you choosing my plan that promises safety or your own plan that will waylay you?"

Damn, I was shook, when I confine Gods plan to this tiny box of my own expectations and to-do lists I'm not choosing to freely live in his promise

My own fear of choosing the wrong path ultimately puts me on the wrong path because it's my own path anyway. Just when I thought God was done calling me out there was more.

God reminded me that the heart is deceitful ( Jeremiah 17: 9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?)

and often traps us. That's why seeking wisdom is necessary because when we live in REVERENCE we will be reminded that His ways are higher, his plan is greater and his purpose always prevails. When we live in awe of him all we wanna do is surrender our plans to him knowing that his plan never fails!

This is the prayer I prayed: I pray for a desire+pasion to seek wise counsel, to seek you and to trust what you will lay on my heart. I release control and put it in your trustworthy hands in Jesus name, amen

I continued to pray and poured out my heart and my future to God. He told me to just align myself with him and be sensitive to His leading, he told me to seek wise counsel and I had to put my pride aside and ask for advice. A couple of days before the closing date I got confirmation about the degree and I felt so much peace about it! My friend once said that when you living in Gods will, you will have peace and the peace I had was so overwhelming.