Faith doesn't make logical sense sometimes

The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. I’ve seen God’s hand so clearly, and I’m beyond grateful for His provision and grace in our lives. Someone once told me that God loves covenant and therefore honours and blesses covenant - and I’ve truly seen that play out!

I don’t think anything can fully prepare you for this crazy, beautiful season of engagement - you’re a bride to be, yes, but also an employee, a fiancé, a sister, a friend… all at once. You’re juggling wedding planning, work deliverables, community-building, maintaining relationships, family responsibilities, and everything in between. You’re choosing color palettes and signage, while running project plans at work, applying for apartments, budgeting for furniture, and trying to navigate family planning, all while your hormones run wild.

This season has been intense. One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn is the power of the words I speak. Scripture reminds us that you are the sum of your thoughts, and your thoughts shape your words. (Proverbs 23:7) The tongue is powerful. In moments of disappointment, words are how we express ourselves - but the words we choose are critical. It’s so easy to get stuck in negative expressions: complaining about delays, questioning God’s timing, doubting our own abilities, or projecting cynicism onto the future.

I felt that recently. Uncertainty, stress, and disappointment combined, and I found myself slipping into negative thinking. But I had to remember: I have power over my thoughts and my words, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Here’s what happened:

We’d been apartment hunting for some time and finally found one that seemed perfect, right area, right budget, everything we wanted. And then we got declined. I was shocked. The apartment went back on Property24 at a higher price, and it made sense why we were rejected, but that didn’t stop my disappointment. My perception became cynical, pessimistic, and skewed.

The following weeks were filled with viewings, scrolling through Property 24 and Facebook, only to find listings that didn’t match our desires or budget. Then we went to a viewing of another place. The space was beautiful, but there were so many people, including friends who were also getting married soon. My heart sank. There was no way we’d get this apartment; surely someone else would look better on paper. I didn’t allow myself to dream. I was in a very dark place. Ben was excited to apply, but I couldn’t see how it would work.

In my disappointment, I drove to Plato, grabbed my go-to coffee (Thalia), and lamented to God. And He reminded me of Psalm 27:8:

“The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.”

Did I truly trust Him with all my heart at that moment? Definitely not. I prayed, left Plato, and still carried a heavy heart. (Thank you, Jesus, for your patience with me!)

That Sunday, Ben asked me to apply for the apartment. I resisted. We went back and forth, my reasoning being logic, and Ben wanting to practice faith. In that moment, Ben reminded me that faith doesn't make logical sense sometimes, and finally, reluctantly, I agreed. As I drove home, I prayed, “God, help me to submit.” When I started the application, an overwhelming peace washed over me. Logically, it made no sense, but I practised submission. I asked God to help me not be resentful or bitter toward Ben if we were denied, and in that moment, God reminded me: submission is ultimately to Him. God leads and guides us, so no blame should or could be rested on Ben. That realisation was freeing, beyond freeing. I submitted the application and placed it fully in God’s hands.

The very next day, the estate agent responded, saying she was rooting for our application. We became hopeful and by Wednesday, we were approved. Thank you, Jesus!

In one week, God taught me the power of words, faith, and submission, all through an apartment application. This season may be chaotic, but it’s shaping me in ways I never expected, and I’m learning to trust Him fully even when things don’t make logical sense.

Whats something in your life that doesn't make logical sense to have faith for?