Idealisation

We all have an idealized version of ourselves. The "5 yrs from now" version that has figured out adulting, figured out a balanced life and is thriving in every aspect. In my narrative, the idealized version of myself is outgoing and bubbly and liked by everyone, she's got a great trendy sense of style, she earns enough money, she's the kind of person you feel yourself with, the kind of person that you immediately think of to invite somewhere, shes flexible and spontaneous, she has time for everyone, she gives over and above. Honestly, the kind of person you look at and think "wow, I wanna be her friend".

That's the version I long to be, however, my current reality is that sometimes I find it difficult to be talkative or feel like my words add anything to a conversation, I only have one pair of shoes that I constantly overwear and the same outfit that I recycle, I'm not able to pay for your coffee on dates, my capacity is at its lowest its ever been, I struggle to go over and above and ultimately I sometimes look at myself and think "wow, no wonder no one wants to be your friend"

The idealized version of me sounds so great, and I would do anything to magically become her but right now, that's just not me. Maybe your idealized version of yourself has a better job or has a special somebody, maybe they're out of the country or living a completely different life. Whatever your idealized version of yourself is doing right now, they will always be one-upping you and so we begin to compare ourselves to this fake idea and every time we do, we chip away from the person we currently are. Now don't get me wrong - it is fantastic to have a goal of the person you wanna become, that's amazing and there's so much power in seeing that for yourself, but when you begin to overidolise the version of the person you can become, you strip away at the person you currently are. Don't ever underestimate the right now version of yourself, there is so much power in recognizing and affirming the person you are right now. As humans, we can't help but do it, we're problem solvers - we immediately wanna fix what we think is broken. The version of me right now is currently broken so I need to fix her right?

How about we change that narrative and say, the current version of me isn't currently broken, but rather, she's building.

Easier said than done right. Wayyyy easier. So how do I practically decide to recognize, value and affirm the right now version of myself?

1. View my life like a sunrise, slow gradual and beautiful

One of my favourite verses right now is:

Proverbs 4:18 NIV

18 The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.

What I love about the imagery in this verse is that the morning sun doesn't just automatically happen, it's a slow gradual progression. So is the life of a righteous person, it doesn't happen overnight, it's a beautiful process. No one looks at the sun and goes ' ugh can it just hurry up and rise" No, people enjoy sunrises for the time it takes to rise, it's beautiful to watch the slow and steady progression of how the light warms up the sky. And it's the same with our lives - we don't have to hurry up the process of becoming. In today's hustle culture it's tempting to rush the process but all that does is leave you burnt out and unfulfilled. When we decide to view our lives like a sunset we eliminate the comparison game and begin to find the beauty in enjoying the process.

2. Watch my inner narrative - How am I speaking to myself?

Whether you know it or not, you have an inner narrative. The conversation you have with yourself from the moment you open your eyes until you close them at night - matters. These conversations happen almost subconsciously and we often disregard or downplay the conversation we have within ourselves. We remember that our words have power, so we hold our tongue, but we forget that our thoughts also have power so we let them run wild. Your life is always moving in the direction of your strongest thoughts (Craig Groeschel) The words you use daily will easily direct the kind of life you live. What narrative are you choosing to have?

Proverbs 23:7

for as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

3. Acknowledge my shortcomings and give myself grace and space to grow.

We're quick to acknowledge our shortcomings but very slow to give ourselves the grace to grow. Giving yourself grace and space takes continuously walking with Jesus and seeing yourself through Gods eyes. It's a journey, and much like most of my blogs, it's a lifelong journey. My prayer for you is that you view your life like a sunrise, that you watch how you speak to yourself and acknowledge your shortcomings - not with the eyes of nitpicking and criticizing but rather through the eyes of a gracious Father.