Growing

This year I turn 20, in fact, next month I turn 20 and the thought of that makes me sad.

Birthdays were always so exciting for me, I remember counting down the days hoping that I'd somehow feel different, knowing that I'll be older than my friends for a couple of months, and now the thought of growing up just makes me realise all the things I haven't accomplished yet. The wonder and joy in birthdays seem to have slowly vanished and the closer I get to my birthday the further I realize I am in my life.

We're watching a series in connect group called Divine direction by Craig Groeschel (side note, if you're a young adult and you wanna join a connect group, let me know! - you are more than welcome to join ours) and its all about learning how to seek Gods will for your life and how he cares more about who you are than what you do. This series has challenged and transformed the way I see "growing up". When you think of growing up you think of graduating high school, automatically getting your new car, your degree, meet the love of your life, get married, magically have enough money to buy a house etc. This is what the world feeds us about growing up. Not once does movies, media or society tell us that character is more important than the car. So of course, we don't wanna grow up because this is the standard we are fed, this is the level we need to reach and it feels nearly impossible. But, what if growing up was more about the person you are becoming than what you are doing.

In the series, Craig mentions that this generation has trouble making and committing to decisions, Why? because we have so many options. No wonder we have trouble choosing a job - because there have never been so many fields of work than right now, no wonder we struggle in relationships because the options are endless with tinder and Instagram.

Decision making is a part of growing up - but what if deciding who you are trying to become was more important than where you think you should be.

We are bombarded with the worldly standard of what "adulting" is supposed to look like and were chasing this idea of what success is. In my opinion, I think real success is genuinely listening to your friend when they need you, doing the things you're passionate about without fear of whether it could make a living, I think it's looking at yourself and being happy with the person you're becoming.

Proverbs 27:19

As in water face reflects face,

So the heart of man reflects man.

Your success, popularity, achievements don't reflect who you are, your heart does.

I genuinely don't think at the end of your life you're going to be looking back at the cash you've made or the material things you possess, you're going to be thinking about the person you are and how you've impacted people around you. My friend Hanna sent me a post by Reese Witherspoon and it says this: "I will never have this version of me again let me slow down and be with her" and it's so true, we're so focused on the future version of ourselves but whoever that person is, depends on the person you are right now. And although it's going to be a journey and I won't always get it right I'm going to try and see "growing up" through the lens of becoming rather than arrived.

This year I turn 20, in fact, next month I turn 20 and I'm going to start to measure my success in the reflection of my heart and not my to-do list.