Celebrations

Birthdays are a funny thing, their purpose is for celebration, but the older I get the more I struggle to celebrate birthdays. On the 24th of May, I turned 21 and when thinking of my birthday a couple of weeks ago, I didn't want to have a celebration of any kind, I told myself that I'd rather just eat cake and binge-watch Stranger Things over the weekend. Still sounds like a solid plan. Haha, anyway the reason why I didn't want to have a birthday party is that I felt like I wasn't worth celebrating. Like what have accomplished in the last 21 years? - I don't even have my driver's license! This was my narrative for the last few weeks. And for some reason, all these negative words came to me as I showered. I stepped into the shower and as the warm water washed over me so did every negative thought I've ever had about myself. This past Sunday at 6 pm service, Ps Sean was led to encourage us as a church to spend time in worship and as I was worshipping God reminded me of the way that I'd been speaking about myself, I brushed the thought aside and assured him that it's not that big a deal, but as I worshipped, the song 'God you're so Good' began playing and I couldn't help but cry out the chorus :

I am blessed, I am called, I am healed, I am whole, I am saved in Jesus' name,

Highly favoured, anointed, Filled with Your power

For the glory of Jesus’ name

I found myself getting emotional and began to sing louder and louder. I was convicted to repent, now repent may sound like a scary word but it really is just so simple and beautiful - To repent is to turn away from sin, and turn completely to God.

The way that I had been thinking about myself goes completely against what God thinks about me, and I had actually been hurting God. It's like being an artist, spending forever on a piece just for someone to say - "that's pretty ugly." It hurts and I can't even begin to understand the magnitude of how much it had hurt God. So as I sang the song I began to declare it over who I am and my life. A couple days later on my birthday in a coffee shop, as I sipped my tea and the fireplace warmed me up, my best friend gave me a scripture.

Matthew 5

You’re Blessed 3 “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you, there is more of God and his rule. 4 “You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. 5 “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. 6 “You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat. 7 “You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for. 8 “You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. 9 “You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family. 10 “You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.

I sat in the coffee shop, with the fire crackling behind me and allowed the words to wash over me. I am blessed not because of who I am, but because of who he is within me. Wow, that takes the pressure off. I felt lighter and hopeful. Thankful that my God doesn't allow me to sit in lies, and that he fights to make sure that I know how loved and valued I am.

Being blessed has nothing to do with my accomplishments in the last 21 years, nothing to do with my might, my power or my intelligence, being blessed has everything to do with My God.

Sot today, before I even turn the shower tap on I know that I've entered my battlefield and unlike before I won't go in unarmoured. I will go in with Matthew 5 and I will go in with the promise of being blessed, called, healed, whole, saved in Jesus' name, highly favoured, anointed, and filled with God's power for the glory of Jesus’ name. My prayer for you is that you would too count yourself blessed, not because of your own works but because of the work God is continually doing within you.

You are valued, you are loved and you are blessed.